


Slippery Slope

by Jessiechaos



Series: Love The Way You Lie [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Angst, Bad Decisions, Bad Parenting, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Closeted Character, Drug Use, Gay Bucky Barnes, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Smut, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Has Issues, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tough Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 12:10:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15461082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessiechaos/pseuds/Jessiechaos
Summary: Bucky is invited to a gather by his father. Things go from bad to worse...Modern AU, no powers. Just a little drama, angst and smut.





	Slippery Slope

“Are you ready for this?” Bucky asked, taking a deep breath, attempting to get his nerves under control. He was hating the suit he was wearing, the tie around his neck feeling like a noose. His hands nervously played at the leather seats of the limo, as he tried to work out some of the anxiety he was feeling. He hated these black tie events. Hated how fake it all was. Hated the spotlight, but his father had insisted. Bucky knew asking his father to leave him alone was too much, but he had kept the other parts of the bargain in place, so he decided to give his father this one concession. He needed to work through his fears anyway.

A familiar hand slipped into his, causing Bucky to relax, pulling him from his thoughts.

“I’m sorry to make you do this… but it means a lot to me,” Bucky said.

“It’s fine, dove. You know I have your backs,” Peggy said to him with her slight British accent. “Besides, you bought me a killer dress. You’re taking me to a fancy party and all I gotta do is pretend to be into a hot guy on my arm. Big sacrifice…” She said with a smile, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. He chuckled.

“You might have to do a little bit more than just be on my arm,” Bucky teased her. She let out a playful laugh.

“I know. I’m willing to do just about anything but sleep with you… and that could be negotiated, with the right incentive,” She joked back with a wink. “I’d even let you call me Steve.” She smiled when she saw the blush. He pushed at her.

“You can be so mean sometimes,“ Bucky complained. “But really, just a few kisses is all I need.”

“I’ve kissed worse. Hell, I’ve dated worse, Bucky,” She told him.

“James, for tonight,” Bucky reminded her.

“Got it, James,” Peggy said. “I just wish…” She said before she stopped herself.

“What is it, Peggy?” he asked her.

“I just wish you didn’t have to hide who you truly are. I wish you could just be happy with you...” Peggy told him. Bucky let out a sigh.

“That’s not the way the world works sometimes…” Bucky told her, with a sad smile. The limo stopped and Bucky took a deep breath.

“You ready to put those acting skills to the test?” Bucky asked.

“No, but I am ready to spend a nice evening with my friend, and kiss for a camera.” Bucky smiled, before getting out the limo. His leg was still weak, hurting as he put pressure on it, but he knew it would get him through the evening. He went around to the other side of the limo, opening the door for Peggy, as she stepped out with his help, in her killer red cocktail dress, hugging all her curves in all the right places. There were several cameras going off, as Bucky’s arm went around her waist, holding her close to him as they posed.

He heard them calling out his name, asking him questions. There was a small part of him that liked the attention but there was a bigger part, that was currently washing over him, that would always hate it. He could feel his anxiety all over now, panic attack slowly starting to form. The flashing of all those lights sending him back to a place he didn’t want to go. He felt a hand squeeze his, grounding him. He took a breath, trying to center himself before flashing them a dazzling smile, waving at the cameras.

“Mr. Barnes? Who’s your date?” He heard a female reporter ask. He looked at Peggy with almost loving eyes before turning back to the reporter.

“A friend,” he said with a wink.

“How are you recovering since your time in Afghanistan?” One asked.

“I was in Iraq. Check your facts next time…” Bucky snapped back.

“What have you been up to since then?” another asked.

“Recovering from nearly getting blown up,” He said curtly, seeing the shocked looks on the reporters faces. He started to walk up the carpet, hoping to get away from the flashing, the questions, the scrutiny. He knew they were curious. He’d been quiet for nearly 3 years. Before that, he had already made a name for himself as a party boy, even if he only been 18 at the time. No one said no to a Barnes.

“Mr. Barnes? Care to comment on the rumors that you’ve spent the past 6 months living with a Marine by the name of Steven Rogers?” A man asked. Bucky smile slightly. Finally, someone asked the right question. He stopped and turned to the man, Peggy still on his hip.

“What about the rumors?” Bucky asked like he hadn’t heard them before.

“They say that you’re more than just friends?” Bucky let out a laugh.

“I think our girlfriends would have something to say about that…” Bucky said, before letting out a breath, like he was kicking himself for saying something he didn’t mean to.

“Girlfriends?” The reporter asked with a smile, looking at Peggy. Bucky leaned in to whisper into Peggy’s ear.

“You ready?” He asked her. After a time, she nodded. Bucky sighed, acting like this wasn’t anything but exactly what he wanted.

“Yes. Margaret Carter and I have been dating privately for the past few months.”

“How did you meet?” the reporter quickly asked.

“The war. We were stationed together. Guess your rumors are correct. I am dating a teammate… just happen to be the wrong one,’ Bucky told him, kissing her cheek.

“What about Steven Rogers?”

“The man who saved my life? What about him?” He asked.

“So you are denying the rumors that you two are lovers?” The reporter pressed. Bucky smiled at that.

“Margaret? Are Steve and I lovers?” He asked, nuzzling into her hair.

“I’m not much into sharing,” She said with a smile. “Have you been to war?” She asked the reporter. The reporter looked at her curiously.

“No,” he admitted.

“Then you have no clue what it's like to put your life in someone else's hands. To build that kind of relationship you have to for your team, knowing they have your back, no matter what. You become close to them in a way that is indescribable. It makes you do anything to protect your team, to do what it takes to get your job done. Don’t mistake closeness and duty with love...” She snapped at him.

“Hey, Peggy that’s enough…” Bucky whispered to her. Peggy shook her head, turning back to Bucky.

“Sorry, she can get quite passionate about her team, her friends,” Bucky said with a smile. “To answer your question. We are not lovers… we are friends. Teammates. He saved my life. Who wouldn’t give the person who saved his life a place to stay?” He said with a shrug, before walking off with a confident stride.

They walked into the party, looking at all the people talking to each other. Someone came up and offered them both a glass of champagne and Bucky quickly took two, handing one to Peggy before downing the one he had.

“You ok there?” Peggy asked, worried about another panic attack.

“It’s just getting harder to deny the truth…” Bucky muttered.

“Then why keep doing it?” Peggy asked. Bucky sighed.

“I’m not sure anymore,” Bucky said kissing her cheek. “I need to use the restroom.” he lied, before walking off. It wasn’t his first time here so he knew where to find a quiet place. He quickly headed up some stairs, as people started to thin out. He made his way to a balcony, already needing some fresh air. He could see that no one else was there, still too early in the evening for people needing a break. He stood there, taking in some deep breaths, trying to calm his nerves. His hand went into his pocket, pulling out his cell.

He noticed the flash of red from the corner of his eye, knowing that Peggy had followed him. He turned to look at her, motioning for her to join him as he unlocked his phone and placed a call. The phone rang as he felt Peggy wrap her arms around his middle, trying to comfort him. The phone kept ringing before going to voicemail. Bucky sighed, clicking the phone off.

“He’s not answering. Maybe he’s mad,” Bucky concluded.

“Why would he be mad?” She asked him.

“For doing this… playing this part,” Bucky said with a sigh.

“He knew what he was signing up for with you. He still did it…” Peggy argued.

“It’s still not fair to him,” Bucky said, leaning into the comfort his friend was offering.

“I made a deal with my father…” Bucky said. “To go to college in a few months. Start business school. Chicago. I started my admissions just last week.”

“Have you told Steve?” Peggy asked.

“I haven’t told anyone until now…” He said, taking another deep breath, holding his panic attack at bay. He could feel her hands on his back, soothing him.

“You should tell him,” Peggy said. “He might be ok with it, hell he may even go with you.”

“I don’t know...” Bucky said.

“I don’t think you even know what you want,” Peggy told him. “But that’s something you need to figure out, sooner than later,” With that, his phone began to ring. Bucky picked it up, seeing Steve’s face on the phone.

“See, not mad,” Peggy said. Bucky nodded as he answered the phone.

“Hey…” He said.

“Sorry. Was taking a shower,” Steve explained.

“It’s fine...” Bucky said in a shaky voice.

“Too much?” Steve asked.

“Just a little. If it wasn’t for Peggy I don’t think I would have made it out of the limo,” Bucky admitted feeling the panic.

“Just breathe,” he heard Steve tell him. Bucky did just that. “Take your time, in… out… slowly,” He said, his voice calming Bucky down. “Better?” Steve asked.

“Yes,” Bucky said, feeling himself get a little more under control.

“Do I need to come get you?” Steve offered. Bucky smiled.

“Not anymore. I think I got this now,” Bucky admitted.

“Ok, go make a few rounds, talk with some fancy people, have a few drinks and bring our girl home before 10,” Steve told him.

“A curfew, really?” Bucky said.

“The world can’t handle the kind of mischief you two will get up too otherwise,” Steve said with a laugh. “If it gets too much again…” he said seriously.

“I’ll come home,” Bucky said.

“That’s all I ask,” Steve said before Bucky hung up the phone.

“Feeling better?” Peggy asked.

“Yeah, but I still need a drink,” He told her. She laughed.

“I’m sure the bar can supply you with something stronger than champagne.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Bucky said as they made it back to the gathering. Peggy quickly helped get him to the bar and let him have a drink and a refill before they started making their rounds, playing the happy couple, making his presence known. He was getting many questions about his absence from society and was happy when Peggy was able to help him with some of them, getting the pressure off him. After some more pleasantries and another drink, he made his way to his father, to check in, hoping he didn’t have to stay much longer. He was starting to feel the panic rise up as more people filtered in.

“James,” His father said smoothly.

“Father,” Bucky answered back.

“Do you remember the Holdman’s?” His father said, motioning to an older gentleman and his son.

“Yes,” Bucky said with a smile, offering his hand to the older gentleman. “If I remember right, Benjamin was a year ahead of me at Dalton,” Bucky said as he shook his hand.

“I believe so,” Benjamin said with a smile.

“Benjamin's set to graduate from Princeton in just a few months, high honors,” His father beamed. Bucky took a breath, knowing his father was trying to rub that into his face.

“Wow, Congratulations,” Bucky said, with a fake smile.

“Yeah, I heard you joined the Army or something?” Benjamin asked.

“Marines. You know me. Wanted to get out there, and serve my country…”

“I can respect that,” Benjamin said with a smile before his eyes moved to look at Peggy who was silent at Bucky’s side. “And who is this lovely lady you managed to bring tonight?” Benjamin asked, with a flirty smile.

“Peggy…I mean Margaret Carter,” She said offering her hand.

“I like Peggy,” Benjamin said with a wink. Bucky couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

“So where did the two of you run off to earlier tonight?” His father piped back in. Bucky took a breath. He was hoping his father hadn’t noticed that. He couldn’t get that lucky. Bucky opened up his mouth to say something, but nothing was coming to his mind. He was feeling closed in again, his brain not working, panic in his chest. He felt Peggy's hand on his back, trying to ground him again.

“Do we need to go?” Peggy whispered into his ear. Bucky closed his eyes, trying to breathe.

“What’s wrong?” His father asked. Peggy looked at George Barnes, before looking at the other two men. They took the hint backing off.

“Panic attack,” She said softly to his father.

“From what?” His father barked. Peggy just ignores the man.

“Breathe in and out... “ Peggy told him. It took him a moment before his mind stops spinning and he could feel himself being pulled out of it.

“I need some air,” Bucky said before walking off. He could hear Peggy talking to his father, most likely giving him a piece of her mind. He quickly made it up the stairs to his hiding spot on the balcony. He slid to the floor, back against a wall as he fought to get his breathing under control.

“Why don’t you just leave?” Bucky heard Benjamin ask him. Did the man follow him?

“My father wanted me to start showing my face again,” He said with a shaky breath.

“Was the war that bad?” He asked. Bucky shrugged.

“I never liked being social before I ran away. I joined the Marines to get away from this. War was easier for me than this,” He said with a light chuckle. “But my accident didn’t help much...” He admitted.

“Your father said your car was blown up with you inside.”

“Yeah… something like that,” Bucky answered.

“Must have been scary.” Benjamin mused. “Hey, I might have something to help you with… your anxiety.”

“Like what?” Bucky asked.

“This stays between us…” Benjamin asked.

“If this does,” Bucky said motioning to himself.

“Sure,” He said before pulling his coat open, pulling out a small bag with some pills from the pocket.

“What’s that?” Bucky asked.

“Something to help with anxiety. You’re not the only one who doesn’t like the spotlight. It really takes the edge off,” Benjamin admitted. Bucky looked at the man before him. He looked cool as a cucumber, no shakes, nothing.

“You on that?” Bucky asked, eyes on the bag. Benjamin nodded.

“It’s called MDMA. It’s a street drug. It’s kind of like valium but easier to get a hold of.”

“What’s it do to you?” Bucky asked.

“Makes you happy, calms the voices, soothes the attacks.” He offered up the bag.

“I’m… not sure…” Bucky said. Benjamin nodded.

“I can respect that.” He said before pulling a half pill out. He placed the pill on the table next to Bucky.

“In case you change your mind…” Bucky nodded before he left him to his thoughts. He closed his eyes, taking in some slow breaths. He opened them again looking at the small pill that Benjamin offered him. Maybe he should call Steve, have him come pick him up. Maybe he was just too broken to handle this anymore.

He pulled out his phone, looking at it for a moment. He unlocked it, moving to dial it, his finger resting over Steve’s name for just a moment before he locked the phone back. He needed to stop relying on him so much. Steve wasn’t always going to be there. He looked back at the pill for another second before he grabbed it and swallowed it quickly.

He sat there for a bit longer, waiting, not sure what he was waiting for. When he heard the balcony open, he looked up, seeing Peggy there. He gave her a sad smile.

“We should go... “ Peggy told him. Bucky shook his head.

“I want to try again,” He said, already starting to feel the pill take a little of the edge off.

“You sure? No one would fault you for leaving,” Peggy offered him. Bucky nodded, starting to stand, straightening his suit as he stood up. She offered him a sad smile. “Let me know if you change your mind…” Peggy said. He nodded to her before taking her hand in his, as she walked with him back to the party.

“Bar?” she asked.

“God, yes…” She took him to the bar and he got himself another drink. He noticed his father glaring at the two of them.

“What did you tell my father?” He asked curiously.

“A lesson on PTSD and anxiety. You never told him what happened… did you?” She asked. Bucky shrugged.

“Didn’t see a point to it.” She shook her head.

“You two have a strange relationship.” She said as she looked him over, seeing he had calmed down. “Are you ready to mingle again?”

“I think so,” He said as they made there way around the room, talking with new and familiar faces. Before Bucky realized it, he felt himself start to enjoy being here. It was a strange feeling to Bucky. He never liked being here before. His eyes scanned the crowd for a moment before he found Benjamin talking to some woman. He seemed to notice Bucky’s eyes on him, turning to look at him. Bucky gave him a smile and the man just returned it, with a nod. He owed the man something nice for this. Peggy got his attention by pulling at his arm. He looked at her, confused at the glare she was giving him.

“Ahhh What’s wrong?” He questioned her.

“I was going to ask you the same thing…” Peggy said.

“What do you mean?” he asked as she pulled his arm, pulling him to a corner of the room, out of earshot of anyone nearby. She looked at him for a moment and he looked right back, confused.

“What did you take?” She asked him. Bucky gave her a shocked look.

“What do you mean? What did I take?” He said.

“No one goes from full panic attack to perfectly ok, that fast. And I can see it in your eyes. This isn’t my first rodeo Bucky, I just expected better from you…” She bit out.

“Hey, I... Benjamin offered me something to take the edge off. And It worked…”

“Do you even know what you took? Valium? Molly? Coke? E?” She asked him.

“Does it matter?” Bucky told her. “I feel good…relaxed, the first time all night. I just needed a little help… What gives?” She shook her head, storming off. He watched her go for just a moment before he saw she was heading right to Benjamin.

“Shit…” he said before he quickly chased after her. He watched her drag the man off to talk to him privately, he was thankful for at least that much.

“What did you give him?” he heard her ask once he caught up.

“Peggy… let’s go,” Bucky begged, knowing they were attracting unwanted attention. “I’m sorry,“ He said to Benjamin before taking Peggy’s arm to pull her away.

“Once he tells me…” Peggy pressed.

“Dude, you’re girlfriends a little crazy,” Benjamin said. Bucky just chuckled.

“You have no idea,” He said before pulling her away. “We are leaving,” he said, pushing her through the crowd, trying to get away from the watchful gazes as fast as possible. He wanted this nightmare of an evening to end. Once they were outside, Peggy pulled away from him as she started to walk away from the building, walking away from Bucky.

“Peggy wait up! Where you going?” he said chasing after her.

“Away from you unless you want me to pop you one,” She told him.

“And I thought Steve was the hothead…” Bucky said.

“Oh, you have no idea right now,” she said as she continued to walk. Bucky followed her until her steps started to slow. Bucky knew she was running out of steam.

“Do you remember why I joined up?” Peggy finally said.

“Ahh… yeah, something about court appointed… that or jail.” He said. She stopped walking, to look at Bucky.

“The Marines saved my life Bucky…”

“You’ve told me that,” he said before he took a sharp breath as something clicked. “It was drugs? wasn’t it?” He asked her. She nodded. “It… was something MDMA I think… I just wanted it to stop. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“I know you didn’t. I never talk about that part of my life. Like I said, the Marines saved my life, everything before that was just a bad memory,” she explained.

“Hey, let’s go back and get the limo. I’ll take you home,” Bucky offered. Peggy shook her head.

“I think I’d rather walk right now,” She told him. He nodded to her.

“I’ll go with you.”

“No… I’d rather be alone,” She told him. “I’m fine, really. Go home. Drink plenty of water, let Steve help you get that stuff out of your system,” She said with a chuckle. “You’re about to have an interesting night as well as one hell of a hangover, so be prepared.” She told him before she turned to walk.

“Text me when you get home. Let me know you’re safe,” Bucky told her.

“You do the same,” She called back as she walked away.

 

* * *

 

On the way home, sitting in the back of the limo, Bucky was starting to fill a little hot under the collar. He started to loosen his tie, to get some relief. He heard his phone go off before he quickly looked at the text from Steve.

**Steve: You ok?**

Bucky felt a shiver run down his back. He wondered if Peggy contacted Steve during all this. He wondered if he would be mad. He unlocked the phone before messaging back.

**Bucky: On my way home.**

**Steve: Good, was getting worried.**

Bucky let out a breath. Steve was just worried about him.

**Steve: How did it go?**

**Bucky: Disastrous, I’ll be home in 10**

**Steve: See you in 10**

Bucky took a breath before a smile slipped on his lips thinking about Steve sitting at home waiting for him. 10 minutes couldn’t come fast enough.

When the limo dropped him off, he got out and quickly made his way to his apartment. He messed with his keys for a second before the door opened, and there was Steve, standing in front of him, in just a pair of sleep pants. Bucky smiled at him.

“Hello there, lover,” He said before pulling Steve into his arms, kissing him to the other man’s surprise. Steve pulled him into the apartment, not breaking the kiss as he closed the door. Bucky’s hands went to grab Steve’s ass, causing Steve to yelp, breaking the kiss.

“What’s gotten into you?” Steve asked.

“I just feel good,“ Bucky answered. “Want to feel better with you.”

“I thought you said tonight was disastrous, this doesn’t look that bad,” Steve argued.

“Well it got better the moment you opened that door,” Bucky said and Steve chuckled.

“I guess mine did too,” Steve said, before pulling Bucky back into a kiss. Bucky’s hands slipped all over Steve's chest, exploring his body as Steve started to guide Bucky to their bed. Once they had gotten closer, Bucky quickly broke the kiss before pushing on Steve’s chest, causing him to fall onto the bed, to Steve’s shock. Bucky wasn’t normally this aggressive. Bucky slipped quickly between Steve’s legs, still hanging off the bed, pulling off Steve’s sleep pants quickly.

“Jesus, Bucky. What’s got you so wound up?” Steve asked as Bucky’s hand wrapped around Steve’s hard cock.

“You,” Bucky said. Steve groaned out when he felt Bucky’s lips wrap around his cock.

“Shit…” Steve cursed, his hands in Bucky’s hair before Bucky took him in completely. Bucky worked on him, hard and fast. Steve groaned out before his hands tighten in Bucky’s hair, pulling him off his cock with a little pop.

“Why?” Bucky asked, looking up at Steve.

“I want to be inside you when I come,” Steve explained. Steve sat up, pulling Bucky off the floor to the bed and moved so they both laid on it. Bucky pulled him into a quick, sloppy kiss. Steve chuckled.

“So eager,” Steve said, smiling, looking right into Bucky’s lust blown eyes. Bucky could see Steve blink, as Bucky panted. Bucky watched as confusion, recognition and then anger slipped into those eyes.

“You’re high,” Steve told him. Bucky shuttered before closing his eyes, turning his face to look away from Steve. Steve took his chin, making Bucky look at him. He knew shame slipped into those baby blues.

“What did you take?”

“Something called MDMA,” Bucky supplied,

“Ecstasy, that explains it.” Bucky looked a little shocked.

“I took Ecstasy?” He asked confused. Steve pulled back, trying to keep his anger in check.

“You don’t even know what you took?” He asked.

“He said it would help with my anxiety. It did…”

“He?” Steve asked.

“Some, old friend, from school. He saw I was having trouble and offered me something to take the edge off.”

“You were having so much trouble that you took drugs from someone you hadn’t seen in what? 4 years?” Steve said, upset. “You should have called me….”

“I know, I just… I just wanted it to stop.” Bucky breathed out. Steve nearly felt his heartbreak at those words. “Can we just go back to the part where you were kissing me. It felt nice…” Bucky asked.

“You’re high,” He argued.

“And you’re sexy,” Bucky said, leaning in to kiss Steve again. Steve wanted to deny him. Wanted to push him off him for how stupid he was acting, but he knew he could never say no to Bucky. Steve allowed the kiss, before kissing back slowly. They kissed for a bit before Steve broke the kiss.

“We are going to have a nice… long talk when you come down,” Steve told him.

“Whatever you want, lover. As long as you fuck me,” Bucky begged. Steve couldn’t help but let out a groan at that, shaking his head.

“I should deny you this.”

“Remember, talking is for later,” Bucky said, nuzzling into Steve’s neck, before nipping at the pulse point. Steve let out a chuckle.

“So no talking at all?” Steve teased, moving to kiss Bucky’s shoulder.

“None whatsoever,” Bucky said back.

“And how are you going to stop me from talking?” Steve asked.

“How about getting those pretty little lips around my cock? I think that might help,” Bucky purred out. Steve let out a groan.

“Is that what you want? Your cock in my mouth? Sucking you off?” Steve purred into Bucky’s ear. Bucky felt a shiver go down his spine. Bucky nodded. Steve pulled at Bucky’s tie, pulling the knot off before sliding the fabric off Bucky’s neck.

“Love the way you look in a suit… But I love seeing you get out of it even more,” Steve said before pulling them both up to a sitting position, slipping the jacket off his shoulders, the jacket hitting the floor. Bucky smiled at him as Steve’s fingers went to the top button of Bucky’s white dress shirt, unbuttoning it, slowly exposing Bucky’s chest to Steve’s watchful eyes.

“Gorgeous,” Steve moaned out.

“Still yapping,” Bucky teased. Steve chuckled before pulling the dress shirt off, moving to attack Bucky’s neck.

“Fuck! Steve! So good...” Bucky moaned out. Steve’s fingers moved to Bucky’s slacks, unbuttoning them before he quickly pulled them off Bucky’s hips and down his legs. Steve looked over Bucky’s now naked body, before pushing him down to the bed. Bucky could feel Steve’s lips on his shoulders, sliding down his chest, feeling exceptional on his overly heated skin. When Bucky felt Steve’s hands on his hips, Bucky couldn’t help but arch closer to the touch. Steve chuckled, low and sweet on Bucky’s ears, and Bucky had to bite his lip not to come.

“Haven’t even started and you're so hard. So turned on. I wish I could say it was just me…” Steve said. It only took Bucky a few seconds to forget the slight bitterness in Steve’s voice when he felt Steve’s lips around his cock, taking him down completely.

“Fuck! Steve!” Bucky yelled. He tried to thrust into that warm heat, but Steve’s hands on his hips held him in place, as Steve slowly slipped up and down. Bucky looked up to watch Steve devour him, taking him in and out of that hot, wet mouth. His eyes lock with Steve’s, seeing heat and desire in those eyes, focused on him, always so damn focused. Bucky moaned out.

One of Steve’s hands left his hips, sliding up to his mouth, two fingers brushing against Bucky’s lips. Bucky kissed at the digits, before taking both into his mouth, licking and sucking on them, mimicking what Steve was doing to his cock. He felt Steve groan around him, causing Bucky to push just a little into that heat.

When Steve’s finger’s left his mouth, Bucky whimpered at the loss. He quickly forgot about it when he felt those fingers rubbing against his ass. Bucky’s eyes rolled back when he felt that first digit slips slowly inside him.

“Fuck!” Bucky moaned, loving the feeling of being filled by Steve. He arched his hips when that finger found what Steve was searching for. Bucky called out Steve’s name. Bucky’s hands quickly went into Steve’s hair, pulling at it, causing Steve to moan, sending another spike of pleasure through Bucky.

“God! Steve,” Bucky moaned when Steve’s finger brushed against that spot, sending more pleasure. It was so good… almost too good. Bucky’s fingers tighten in Steve’s hair as Bucky started to slowly fuck into that warm sweet mouth. Steve allowed him as he moved to slip both fingers in, driving them both into his prostate.

“I’m… Steve… I’m…” Was all Bucky could manage to get out before he started to come down Steve’s hot and willing throat. Bucky could feel Steve swallowing around the tip of his cock, taking everything, making Bucky nearly cry at how good it felt.

Once Bucky relaxed into the bed, boneless and sated, Steve slipped off his cock with a sinful little pop. Bucky couldn’t help but shiver. Steve moved up the bed, laying down on his back, before pulling Bucky into his arms. Bucky felt safe once those arms wrapped around him. He felt Steve kiss the top of his head.

“Sleep,” he heard Steve tell him, to Bucky’s confusion.

“But, you?” Bucky asked.

“I’m fine… sleep,” Steve said with a soft but firm tone, leaving no room for argument. Bucky nodded, not sure how he felt about the slight rejection he was feeling, his mind swimming.

“Sleep,” Steve reminded him, hand going to play with Bucky’s hair. Bucky closed his eyes at the touch, his exhaustion and sated body quickly succumbing to Steve’s words.

 

* * *

 

Steve woke up feeling the warmth of his lover beside him, deep in sleep. He looked at the clock, 8:30. Steve sighed before laying there for a bit, listening to his breathing, shallow but steady. He wondered if the drugs had ample time to work out of his lover's system. That thought made his anger rise. He took a breath to calm himself. He needed to stay calm today.

He nudged Bucky a little bit, getting a groan from his lover. He nudged him again and Bucky just turned over in his sleep, away from the annoying movements.

“You get until I’m done making breakfast,” Steve said softly, not getting a response. Steve got out of bed, pulling on his sleep pants before going into the kitchen. Steve put on a pot of coffee before pulling out everything he needed for breakfast. Eggs, bacon, and sausage, quickly busying himself, trying to come to terms with what happened last night. Trying to get his thoughts in order, his anger in check. Yelling would accomplish nothing. When the cooking was done, he moved everything to the table, getting Bucky a cup of coffee, and a glass of water.

Steve walked into the bedroom, finding Bucky still curled into the blanket, now hugging his pillow. Steve took a calming breath, before quickly pulling the blanket off Bucky’s naked body.

“Rise and shine, buttercup,” Steve told him in a loud but not too loud voice. Enough to annoy. Bucky groaned out, curling in on himself.

“Steve… stop being a dick…” Bucky growled, holding his head.

“I said I would wait until you came down, your down. Get your ass up. Get some Advil and water. Get your ass to the table. I got breakfast and coffee waiting. We need to talk.” Bucky grumbled at this, throwing his pillow at Steve before he sat up glaring. Steve just stood there, pillow in his grasp, his expression emotionless, unmoving. He wasn’t taking no for an answer.

“Fine…” Bucky said before slowly slipping out of the bed, moving past Steve, heading to the bathroom. Steve couldn’t help but smile as he threw the pillow back on the bed.

Steve was waiting for him at the table when Bucky left the bathroom wearing a pair of boxers and one of Steve’s old shirts. It hung off him just a little, Bucky being a little smaller than Steve.

‘Damn but he did look sexy in my clothes.’ Steve thought. He wondered for a moment if Bucky did it on purpose, to calm Steve’s anger or if he was just looking for anything to cover himself up with. He could see the shame and the pain in his lover's eyes. It nearly broke Steve’s heart but he knew he couldn’t show it. Not right now. Not until after they talked.

“Sit,” Steve told him a little too loudly. Bucky winced but did as he asked.

“I know you’re mad, but you don’t have to yell,” Bucky said.

“Oh, you know better… this isn’t yelling. Eat,” He ordered. Bucky nodded, before taking a piece of bacon and chewing on it slowly. He saw the coffee, quickly drinking it.

“I would drink some water too…” He said motioning to the cup on the table. Bucky nodded, before moving to drink half the glass. There was an uncomfortable silence as they ate. By the time they were half done, Bucky couldn’t handle it anymore.

“Look, Steve, I know you’re pissed…”

“You have no idea,” Steve said in an eerily calm voice. Steve could see Bucky visibly shiver.

“I… made a mistake. I should have called you… or at least got out of there. I don’t know. I just... wanted to handle things on my own for once.” Bucky said looking away from Steve.

“And your way of handling things was to take illegal drugs?” Steve asked.

“Not my brightest idea, I’ll give you that… but it worked,” Bucky said. At that, the facade broke and Steve let his anger show.

“Does that mean you’re going to do it again!?” He snapped. Bucky looked up at Steve.

“I don’t want to lie,” Bucky started. “But I don’t know. I liked being able to handle it on my own and I liked the way it made me feel…” He said. Steve closed his eyes. He took a breath, taking in the information, getting his thoughts in order. He opened them, looking at Bucky.

“I don’t care if you want to experiment with drugs. Occasionally. Recreationally. We can talk about that. Do it safely. But that is not what happened last night. You didn’t take them because you wanted too. You took them because you felt you needed too. They were a crutch, an easy fix to a problem that you have.” Steve told him. He took a breath, feeling his anger wan. “The fact that you liked it. That’s when we have problems. That’s when people get addicted…” Steve told him, trying to keep the memories at bay.

“Steve. I’m not your mother…” Bucky said softly. Steve closed his eyes holding back a tear before he nodded, opening them back up to look at Bucky’s concerned eyes.

“I know you’re not Buck. But… I can’t have it in my life. Not as a crutch. Not as an escape from your problems. It’s just too damn… familiar,” Steve admitted. Bucky nodded.

“I can respect that. Ok. No more drugs, unless it's prescribed by a doctor,” He said with a sigh. “I won't make you go through that again…” Steve let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

“Thank you. That means… a lot to me,” Steve admitted. Bucky smiled.

They both quickly finished breakfast. Once they were done, Bucky went to go take a shower. Soon after, Steve heard a knock on the door. Steve quickly went to put on a shirt, before going to answer the door, to find George Barnes.

“I need to speak to James,” George said, looking pissed.

“He’s busy,” Steve told the older man, making sure to stand in the doorway so he couldn’t get in. “Come back another time, when you’re calmer,” Steve challenged.

“Are you denying me access to my son, you little punk?” George growled.

“No, I’m just telling you not right now. Bucky had a bad night last night and I don’t want you to make it worse,” Steve told him.

“Oh, I know what kind of night he had. I had to witness most of it to my horror. That’s why I’m here, it’s what I need to talk to him about,” George admitted.

“Oh, if that’s the case, then don’t come back,” Steve said, going to close the door, but George put his arm on the door pushing it back open. He was strong for an older guy. Steve could have closed the door if he wanted to, but he didn’t want to hurt him.

“Listen here you, punk,” George threaten. “I know who you are. I know what you're doing here. I know what you’re hoping for. But hear this. It’s never going to happen. And I’m not going to be lectured by one of my son’s little distractions…”

“Yeah, you need to go now!” Steve barked at him.

“Hmm, It’s only a matter of time before he gets bored of you anyway. He’ll move onto better things. Tick. tock,” George said cooly, before moving out of the way of the door, straightening his suit. “Let James know I stopped by. I expect a call before the day ends to talk about his behavior last night,” The man said before walking away. Steve just stared at his retreating back in shock.

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn't even the one I set to be the second one. I got inspired by a comment. Have another one done, just needs editing but I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow, so maybe next week? Have another 2 started as well. I'm quite enjoying this little playground my brain.
> 
> I hope you enjoy. Stayed up way too late getting it done! Comments and Kudos keep me going!


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